Grazia & Salute

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Feeling vs Discipline

Mind is a complex organ, it debates itself, it believes itself, it adores itself, it belittles itself!!

It’s always a love-hate relationship the brain has itself.

Its an age old debate, whether you need discipline to succeed , nah nah you need motivation to achieve greatness otherwise you simply follow orders.

Both – discipline & motivation are the products of the same complicated confounded brain.

So what is the answer?

I have read so many theories that “trying to feel like doing stuff” versus “doing it irrespective of your feeling”, and so many motivational quotes but I think I found the answers within me.

I’m reminded of my school days when I wouldn’t “feel” like going to school BUT I would have to because my parents said so!!

When I would have to eat green leafy vegetables irrespective of what I “felt” because I didnt have a choice or even a sense of control over my own life.

As a result , when i grew older, CHOICE was my cause of rebel!!

I like the fact that I got to decide if I wanted to eat something or if I didn’t want to go somewhere or that I could sleep as late as 2 pm on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon and I didn’t have to obey anybody other than my awesome self !

As a result I ate too much,exercised too little, slept on ungodly hours, forgo any sense of responsibility, dumped my societal conduct into the dustbin, talked too much, listened too less,created too much waste, saved too little, partied way too much, meditated way too less all because I had a CHOICE and I felt like it!!

AND then one fine bengaluru morning, came a wake up call.

The world had moved ahead, way ahead of me & my feelings.

My Dreams, aspirations,goals seemed so distant from me and all that near was a hangover, pre-mature ageing, piling up credit card bills, fat bulging out from all unpleasant places and most importantly – a tired soul and a defeated spirit!

All because of giving into feelings – in my specific case, selfish,thoughtless,aimless,disrespectful feelings.

THE INTERVAL.

After some soul searching,not caving -in to ‘feelings’ and moderate meditation, I came face-to-face with DISCIPLINE.

My guide, my light at the end of a tunnel & then came the payback.

-Wake up 7 a.m no matter what
-Eat home cooked food 6 times a week like your life depended on it.
-Stop consuming alcohol even if somebody else paid for it.
-Exercise minimum 1 hour regularly whether the Sun shined, sky rained or snow befell

And for some weird,vague reason, this unknotted all the seemingly complicated knots in my head.

All the time freed up, all the excess fat melted away, the fog started to lift up and then the road to building my dreams into reality became clearer.

It’s still a challenge, because old habits die hard!!

And old patterns domake their way time and again like an old creeper climbing up and up.

but DISCIPLINE is the sword that keeps the darkness at bay.

All in all, I’m way too young to preach anyone anything but for all the struggling souls, defeated spirits and crushed dreams out there – its time to get up, stand up & roar again and with DISCIPLINE on your side, there is no GOLIATH that you cannot defeat.

DISCIPLINE is the strong, supple, underdog that needs to be awakened, there is no mountain too big for you to conquer, no well too deep to swim and no space too vast to explore

With that note, I bid goodbye for now, hopefully sowing a seed of the feeling of DISCIPLINE.

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When K. Sivan & Narendra Modi broke the glass ceiling

Often I wonder how does one measure the virtue in one’s character?

It has been an emotional turmoil since 1:48 a.m. today.

Vikram lander lost communication with 2.1 km before the final descent. A silence that resounded across the country.

An understandably upset ISRO chief making the announcement that they are analyzing the data.

A beloved Prime Minister motivates the scientists and the country.

All of these understandably expected but then we witnessed the unexpected.

Just when PM Modi is to bid goodbye, the ISRO chief k. Sivan -62 year old male breaking down and PM Narendra Modi – 68 year old male hugging him and consoling him.

This is where the GLASS CEILING broke!!
In a world governed by the 21st century rules:
MEN DON’T CRY
SCIENCE IS FACT BASED & NOT EMOTION BASED
DON’T BE A BABY , BE STRONG
A JOB IS SIMPLY A JOB NOT YOUR LIFE

These men with great power at their disposal hugged each other and cried,over an outcome with a very low success rate.

Men of science, men of power or simply 2 tired souls in need of comfort!!

That moment sought multidimensional realities for me – PASSION, HARDWORK, LOVE, DESTINY, SCIENCE, BROTHERHOOD.

If this was a movie (which i know will be out by 2022 🙂 ), then the 2 brother (from another mother) hugging would be the climax of this story.

Keep breaking the glass ceiling gentlemen, its much needed in times like these.

Grazia&Salute,
Sonam Powar

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When we gave our beloved Chaand a “Jaadu Ki Jhappi”

Everyone (by that I mean the news anchors) are screaming that history has been made,rightly so ofcourse but we must realise that not just history but future has also been forged today;

With millions watching,praying and finding a national emotional connection with Chandrayaan & its vikram lander

These are moments when dreams get etched in our memories. When we sit and start staring at the vast skies & the dreams begin to solidify.

It will begin with a Google search and in the quest for this search one will go deeper & deeper into the universe.

With the prime minister addressing the nation, the conversation has become very “sciency”.

And its important to change the conversation. Its important to be reminded time and again that even with the most humble beginnings, most humble educational background, one can reach moon and stars.

I’m reminded of Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam words:

One Must have great AIM
One Must continuously acquire Knowledge
One must do hard Work
One must persevere & succeed

Today, future is made with thousand writing in their diary

My Aim in Life is to become a rocket scientist & make my country proud.

And yes, along the way some will change their course but then there will be those who will be adamant, whose indomitable spirit will break the limits of their imagination & the forces of nature will conspire to achieve this imagination paving way for next set of rocket scientists.

Dear Chandrayaan-2,

You might have landed on MOON today, but the countdown to the far far galaxy has already begun

grazia&salute,

Sonam Powar

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Small Achievements, Big Glory

I have been thinking about the small things in life,

the small pains,
the small pleasures,
the small achievements,
the small failures.

I’m trying to understand the relation between the small and big

Big failures,
Big achievements,
big joys,
big pains.

I’m reminded of my travels to Florence,Italy, where I was dumbstruck by the creation of the artists, the likes of Michaelangeo & his famous creation – David.

And I always wondered what does it take to become a great artist,where does one acquire such an illutrous vision or more specifically 

        "What is the essence of greatness?"

Then came a musical phase in my life & I happen to hear the Gundeja Brothers of the Dhrupad fame (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gundecha_Brothers)

If I have to list their achievements, I will fall short of words & strength.

And students of these noble musicians would dedicate their days, sometimes months, in simply perfecting the Swar(s) – “SA” “RE” “GA” “MA” “PA” “DHA” “Ni” “SA”.

Days of only singing “SA”
Days of only understanding “SA”
Days of living, breathing “SA”
Until “SA” becomes not justa musical notation but part of their DNA.

This had a deep impact on me.

Its really that simple, isn’t it.
just focus on the basics!
just get the right basics,
& everything else will follow.

Its the same with every field- Dance, painting, cooking,science.
Its the same with our culture,with the teachings of our ancestors.

किसी ने कहा है मेरे दोस्तो
बुरा मत सुनो बुरा मत देखो बुरा मत कहो
बुरी है बुराई मेरे दोस्तो

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.

Its like Peter Morgans famous words from his screenplay “The Crown”

“It’s in the small things that the rot starts. Do the wrong thing once, it’s easier to do it again. Do the individualistic thing once, it is easy to do it again.”

So, I leave you with the simple question

What is the essence of greatness?
What is the DNA of perfection?

Grazia & Salute,
Sonam Powar

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THINGS WOMEN WORRY ABOUT WHEN THEY ARE GETTING READY FOR OFFICE

I read somewhere “There is nothing rarer, nor more beautiful, than a woman being apologetically herself, comfortable in her perfect imperfection”
To me, that is the true essence of beauty.
No matter how you perceive yourself, being a woman guarantees stares, uncalled judgement & a feeling that feels like ‘You are on display’.

Often, I’m torn between why put an effort to get dressed at all, when all I do is sit in front of a PC for 7+ hours?
On the bad hair days/period days/’Am I fat’ days/’I’m helpless’ days, getting dressed for office takes a back seat & everything but ME takes a priority.
Then there are those who often point out to me that success is independent of your clothes, look at Mark Zukerberg who wears only black t-shirt & blue jeans everyday to reserve all his decision-making capabilities for something more substantial OR Barack Obama, once the leader of the free world, only wore Navy/Grey suits. Nothing wrong with their decision. But we got more color y ‘all. In an era where creativity has a growth spurt never experienced before, why should we keep lock it in & not let it manifest itself. Gone are those days, where your identity was definite like your uniforms, today the beauty of ever-changing identities, defining & re-defining oneself one’s identity constantly & fluidly evolving.
For a long time, I envied the women working in fashion industry, those who worked for the ‘Devil'(from the ‘Devil wears Prada’)
They have these Gala’s, these parties, these events where they physical expression of themselves is an important aspect of their professional lives. Unlike mine, where an occasional ‘Ethnic Day‘ is the highlight of the Quarter.
So, one day as I was whiling away in my thoughts, I looked at myself in a reflection, I tried to tuck my stomach in, fluff up my hair, tried to correct my posture but I could not fathom the thought that I didn’t like the person I saw.
And you must always love yourself.

How can you care about anything else, if you don’t even care about yourself?
Taking care of oneself isn’t a privilege but a responsibility towards one’s health.
Self-care is equivalent to meditation. I re-iterate its not a privilege, but a necessity for a long happy fruitful life.
So, ladies, before you wear something random, stop & think. You are dressing up for yourself. Every day is your Gala (hopefully that’s the right usage )
Remember you are always being watched then why not give the watchers something to watch out for.
Common ladies wear your bling’s like your honor Sista.
Stay tuned in more!!

Grazia & Salute,
Sonam Powar

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My First Blog Post

What Inspired Me To Write This Blog?

Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.
— Oscar Wilde.

I decided to write this because I feel like the working women are the most neglected communities of all. We are the bread earners of our family, we have the spending ability but still it looks like the fashion industry’s focal point are the skinny 16 years olds.

I never understand that!!

Also,for some weird reason a working women is always buying presents for he father or for her mother-in-law.

I haven’t seen a single advertisement where a women buys a car for herself for the heck of it or because hey feels like it or buys an expensive diamond just for herself and not for any occasion , no shaadis,no diwali, just because she wants to buy it without any guilt because she can afford to . #culturainappropriations

Lets break these barriers ladies, lets celebrate our bodies, our minds, our senses.

We are not some child-bearing machines we are indeed God’s most wonderful creation.

Look at the goddess in our temples, in shravanabelagola, hampi or ajanta ellora beautifully adorning themselves.

C’ommon diva’s , lets go back to our roots, lets take care of ourselves.

Lets Adorn ourselves because lets face it , You are worth it.

Grazia & Salute,
Sonam Powar

FINAL MUSINGS OF 2019

2019 was alright not my best but not the worst 🙂
I have come face to face with the fact that I have acquired only virtual skills but very few physical skills /skills that actually matter.

I still can’t swim although I did manage to do sea-diving in Bali(It was a very enriching experience that taught me I how badly I needed to swim)
I have managed to drive only by withholding by breathe.
The only sport that I like to play is probably Tic-Tack-Toe.
I can run maybe 1 km without a break.
I still haven’t climbed a difficult (or famous) mountain!!

I envy humans who can surf with the waves, race a bike to Leh, sew-up a sweater, make free style Rangoli, sing a note right.
There is so much to do and so little time. Half my life has passed on with very few real-life skills to brag about.

Okay , now that I have completed the quota of self-loathing. lets start th self assurance shall we?

I’m good at traveling but I have realized its like writing a thesis you must research research research..phewww
I take pride in able to read transport maps and not just google maps.
I can appreciate Art but not call myself an Artist yet !

This coming year I will begin with Cooking(not master chef style, but more like keep yourself alive style) & would save up a lot.
Maybe take a sport(looks like badminton :P)
Write more, talk less.
Travel more so often.
Workout more-definitely high on my list
Try to cut junk food (I must confess I’m a junkie – pun intended).
More Meditation, less Netflixation(yes i invented a word)
And definitely definitely commit.
Commit to Goals,Commit to Self, Commit to acquiring more skills 🙂

On that note I look forward to 2020!!

Grazia& Salute,

Sonam Powar

The -ve of ROMANTICIZING ones Dreams

What it means is to fall in love with your dreams and day-dream about your dreams.

We grow up Romanising our heroes – Steve jobs, mark Zuckerberg, bill gates, warren buffet etc and one often day dream about being like them, glorified like them, worshipped like them!!

I know some folks from Silicon Valley who would treat their colleagues like sh** because Steve jobs was a known a**hole and we think talking like them, walking like them, eating like them, mistreating fellow friends will make me just like them!

Often when I’m tired and depressed I sit and day dream about being World’s Richest and what I would do with all that money.

I have already figured out the house I’m going to live in.
The hairstylist I’m going to hire
The brands I’m going to wear
My Accent
My Garden
My Interiors
My Exteriors
The Oprah interviews
Forbes magazine cover
Vacation plans
Michigan star restaurants I’m going to dine in
The cars I’m going to own
And of course, my daily medium of commute- my private jet!!

Day dreaming just gives me a different high!!

Don’t we all do this?? Dream about our heroes, sorry redaction, dream about the privileges our heroes presumably must be enjoying.

Superficial stuff, agreed but we could spend hours & hours whiling away in these thoughts and funnily they feel real and give us a sense of achievement

I’m not trying to degrade the value or the power of imagination. After all, imagination has been the foundation of all inventions & innovation.

Life in recent times has become about learning-unlearning-relearning. And what I have realized in recent times is that our crisis is no longer material, its existential!

This concept of comfort has become a 20^th century reward. Be rich, be comfortable.

Be comfortable in your own skin – doesn’t matter, you are obese, unfit but if eating comforts, you do it.

Be comfortable, don’t cook, order in.

Don’t struggle, just chill. This demonizing struggle has changed the course of millennials.

The value of struggle

But here’s where lies the problem, you haven’t lifted a finger and you have lived an entire lifetime, much like inception!!

The problem with this bubble is that you often get deviated from the real gold,

which is,

Their Work ethic
Their discipline
Their process
Their time management skills
Their untiring hard work
The sleepless nights
The hustling mornings
The sacrifice
The realities of FOMO
The books they must have read
The failures they must have embraced
The repeated judgement they must have proven wrong

The passion they must have invigorated
The inspiration that they never let go of

I often come across engineers who criticize MICROSOFT for their less than perfect software, APPLE for being more of a marketing company than of a mobile company.

This picture for me says it all!

What we forget is that Murals weren’t built for the critics! They were built in the honor of the DOER’s, those who slept less worked more, who spoke less, but worked the most.

Grazia & Salute,
Sonam Powar

My Food, My Life

Once upon a time there existed only 2 kind of food – one that you loooove and the one that you didn’t love but simply had to eat because choice had not seeped into our plates back then.

The food that we loved comprised of sweets, my favorite sabzi, my favorite fish curry, my favorite prawns fry etc etc, you get the deal.

The one that I did’nt like, consisted of methi, palak, capsicum basically green leaves.

Today I somehow find myself at multiple cross roads as I try to look at food from the western/scientific point of view.

 --->carbs
 --->protein
 --->fat
      --->good fat
      --->bad fat
      --->saturated fat
      --->unsaturated fat
----->veggies
---------------->>>>>>>>>> Any other category of it !!

It also has numeric category, because apparently food != happiness

Food == calories == Mathematical model

Roti = 123 Kcal
Chalwal. 1 bowl  = 150 kcal
dal = 1 cup = 80 kcal

And apparently we need 1200 Kcal for survival.

This shift in perspective has gotten to me.

This shift in the axis has gotten me all ruffled up.

How is food simply a number? How are you going to quantify the smell of hot piping ghee poured on a Puranpoli/holige as 123kcal of saturated fat?

How can hot onion pakoda on a rainly day be 250kcal of oily food?

How have we left all the science of age old tradition and substituted with this new era of misinformation?

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not eaten well.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

What “Modern food science” tells us that chemically examined human cells consists of C, O, H, N and S but what it conveniently doesn’t tell you that no amount of C, O, H, N and S put together will constitute life.

Food, ladies and gentlemen defines you, it shapes your life, your thoughts, your individuality.

Its one common force that runs throught the 3 plains of mind, matter and spirit.

“Food Science” that fails to look into the nature of life and its background & tries to explain away this intelligent , living force as the product of mathematical equation is no science at all.

Food is not life but life would not exist without food.

Grazia & Salute,

Sonam Powar

DANCE OF SECULAR MONARCHY

The last couple of days have presented themselves with a gamut of emotions.
A question repeatedly surfacing “Is this a SECULAR India”
“Is this the India that Gandhiji envisioned”
It took me quite a while to understand the English word SECULAR and why everyone makes such a big deal of it?
Its like a new fad of diet- keto diet,fasting diet, liquid diet, gluten free diet, nuts free dir, fruitarian diet, vegetables diet, avocado diet, water-no salt diet and list is unforgivably long.

I remember reading the Constitution in my college and it read,
“We are a sovereign,socialist,secular,democratic republic ..”
other than memorizing these “English” words, I never thought of their meaning in any context.

I understood “Socialism” on one my solo trips to USA when I struggled to catch “a decent overnight bus from Chicago to New York”
The fact that a 16 hour journey neither had a government run train service or a bus service between such important cities.
The fact that lobbyists in USA spun the American dream. From gun laws to owning a car to having a +ve credit score, its all part of this imaginary constitutional web that the CAPITALIST society has found its base on.
No judgement there, just plain observation.
You see I could travel anywhere to anywhere in my country with either a government run train/bus. I truly respected the importance of being a citizen of the socialist country.

Moving On,
On May 20th, TIMES released a cover article called Narendra Modi “India’s Divider in Chief” singing “he is merely politician who has failed to deliver, seeking re-election whatever else might be said about the election, hope is off the menu”

And honestly I bought the tune!! I thought maybe what I felt isn’t enough maybe there is a greater arc that I don’t see, that I don’t comprehend, that I haven’t got it all right.
And re-thinking democracy, freedom, the highest ideals of government and leadership.
And then came the resounding election results on 23rd May and what a victorious victory.
What a mandate given by my fellow Indians.
This was the day I understood the meaning of DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC in the Constitution.

Now coming to the most important English word of the constitutions (or so it seems) that is marketed more than Cola/Pepsi -SECULARISM.
To be uninformed or be entirely on one’s mercy is no way to live, so began my quest for Secularism.
Some examples that spoke of secularism were when the US of A preferred the term happy Holidays to that of Merry Chrismas.

In West Bengal, there was a litigation against the government in aiding the PUJA PANDALS monetarily from the state funds saying it was “non-secular”
Apparently, secularism is acceptance of all on an equal basis! But here it feels more like an appeasement of certain minority community(not all minorities, mind you), anyways when I kept making a deeper exploration about this idea of equality, I remembered the shlok from Sanskrit scriptures

ॐ सर्वे भवन्तु सुखिनः < Om, May All be Happy >
सर्वे सन्तु निरामयाः । < May All be Free from Illness >
सर्वे भद्राणि पश्यन्तु < May All See what is Auspicious >
मा कश्चिद्दुःखभाग्भवेत् । < May no one Suffer >
ॐ शान्तिः शान्तिः शान्तिः ॥ < Om Peace, peace, Peace >

We are Secular not because its in the constitution, but because its in our culture! Period.

END OF DISCUSSION !!

Grazia & Salute,

Sonam Powar

V.G. Siddhartha Hegde – VICTOR to VICTIM

Christopher Nolan proposed in The Dark Knight, “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”

I don’t think that this is a natural progression – hero to villain and it becomes more and more clearer with the suicide of the billionaire Siddhatha hedge. I didn’t think I would be writing about current events, but it seems unjust to write about anything else other than the recent events because if we don’t learn from the mistakes of the past than history is bound to repeat itself.

Long before Mark Zuckerberg, Larry page, Jeff Bezos became our aspirations our local boy, Siddhartha hedge was our hero. You would be able to appreciate if you spent your teenage in namma Bengaluru.

Café Coffee Day was not just a placed of overpriced coffee, it was a meeting place where art met intellect, thousands of writers, lone-wolves, script writers, couples in love, couples in despair all found a respite.

Then with such an iconic past & a seemingly stellar future what went wrong?

There have been many तर्क वितर्क presented by the learned, speculative, spectators. I’m not going to add any more of speculation, but I would like to see the bigger picture which is

WHY DO GIANTS FALL?

Take any ancient story for that matter, be it David vs Goliath, Ram vs Kumbhakaran, Krishna vs Putana, Krishna vs Bakasura, we paint the Giants, the big rich guys as demons, as villains, so it becomes easier to not feel empathy for them. I’m not comparing Siddhartha to these demons, but take a minute to think about this, he was a Giant so to speak, then how did stress or fear get the better of him? How did he get defeated?

There is an interesting theory that during the course of becoming BIG, giants develop this rare condition that causes them to lose their eyesight, as a result of which they lose the ability to appreciate the finer details of the world around them.

In this horse race of growing big, growing fast, we forget that it comes with a cost, a cost of poor sight, you start seeing the bigger picture, but finer details become blurry.

This fast pace of “growth”, paves way to the hyperloop way of life making it unstable, unsustainable nuclear disaster waiting to happen. You see the real reason Giants fail is because they are weaker than we comprehend, they are more susceptible to bad judgement, because all they have is just an illusion of power, of strength but really, they are blind to their surroundings, if anything being BIG exposes their vulnerability even wider.

It is wise to remember that the higher you go, the more abstract the world becomes, you gain newer perspectives, but lose the foothold of reality.

It is true that our education, our “city-life”, this “modern” culture hasn’t equipped us to deal with stress, mental health, fatigue & sometimes the only solution we see is the big finale full-stop “.”

To conclude,

With great power comes great responsibility & greater vulnerability

Grazia &Salute,

Sonam Powar